Living Analog has a two-year birthday at the beginning of May. Actually I already got my “happy anniversary” thing from WordPress because we joined up in April but didn’t have any published posts until May. I’m trying to figure out a little something to do for this little milestone . . . . (maybe something involving a giveaway?)
So here’s a part of what I came up with: Let’s Chat.
Part of what I like about blog land is feeling like I know the person posting the content. Even though you may never meet in real life and they may have no idea you
stalk read their blog, there’s a camaraderie there. I went looking for some current picture of me or me and JT to put in here and there is almost a total dearth. We’re not “in the picture” people. I’m trying to work on that. So what you see above was actually shot for our engagement pictures over 8 years ago! I cropped Mr. Husband out because he looks a lot different and may not want to be overshared on the internet. The little guy next to me is Shenanigan, we hadn’t yet adopted Sophie.
So. Let’s Chat. Any burning questions out there? Here’s a fun fact – JT and I met and began dating when we were 17. So getting married when we were 24 wasn’t too crazy. And now we’re 32 and rapidly approaching the tipping point of the “I’ve known you longer than I haven’t known you”.
Here’s photographic proof, straight out of the 90s for you: our first high school dance together (homecoming) about a month into this whole crazy thing. Be warned, this picture is hilarious. And horrible. Both, equally.
Can’t you tell from my facial expression that I love being photographed, even then when I actually weighed what it says I weigh on my driver’s license?
Here’s something a lot of people wonder about: where are all the kids? Shouldn’t we have popped out one or two after eight great years of marriage? Having children is something that JT and I have talked about and think about but we’ve decided it’s not the right choice for us right now. I know better than to say “never”. Never say never — why? — because you never know what the future may hold. We don’t hate kids — I think my friends and cousins have some pretty cute ones and we’ve even baby-sat (once!). It just might not be in the cards for us. And I’m okay with that. (Read what Portia de Rossi said about it here).It’s been harder for other people to accept which I understand but also causes me a lot of anxiety. Also some people may think this is more of a decision that I made and JT is going along with but really this is very, very much a joint decision. And I don’t know why, but it really bothers me when people ask “Why don’t you have kids?”. There are some people (not my friends or family) who should NOT have had kids for various reasons. We never look at a person who is a really crappy parent and say “Why DID you have kids?” (to their face at least).
Well, that was a deep one. Let’s lighten up. Did anyone else watch the one and only season of “My So-Called Life” and love it? I think I’m a 90s girl at heart and part of me always wanted to be Angela Chase so I could wear plaid and weird dresses and dye my hair bright red (I have actually done all those things but maybe not at the same time). And if I was Angela Chase, my boyfriend would be Jordan Catalano. Dreamy. Some say I may have married my very own “Jordan Catalano”.
Image above, Jared Leto as Jordan Catalano in his band “Frozen Embryos”. And yes, I remembered the band name. Image below taken from our freshman yearbook, JT as his 15-year-old self in his band “Fifth Columnist” (I remembered that name too, for the record.)
Sorry honey, I guess I just overshared you on the internet anyways.
If there’s anything else you guys want to chat about, hit me up with a comment or an email and I can do a follow-up overshare post. I’ve gotta tell you that work has been sucking my energy dry with a big project deadline. It will be a great project once it’s completed (in say two years) but right now I just want the construction drawings to JUST. BE. OVER. ALL.READY. Needless to say I don’t have any amazing “ta-da” home projects to share just yet. So today is just TMI. Hope you enjoyed!
Cheers – CT
Loved this post!
Thanks Jess — it’s because of the horrible pictures, right? I should see what I can dig up that has your husband in it. Long live the 90s.
I hear you on the kid thing. I struggle with it also. I think we’ll eventually have kids but just not now. The constant nagging is annoying. I also had a strong love for My So Called Life. I need to see if it’s on Netflix…
I think it is on Netflix! Grab some flannel and some popcorn and settle in! I do worry on the kids thing that when I’m fifty I’ll look around and say, ‘whoops, I forgot to have kids’. I would be interested to hear from childless couples in their 50s or 60s as to how they feel about the whole thing. And then I look at the other side of that argument – should I really be having kids just so I’m not worried about missing out on something? Doesn’t quite feel like the right reason. Thanks for your comments and for stopping by! I love your blog and that cute Ike! Cheers- CT
I was 30 before I decided that I wanted to have a child…one, not multiples. I endured the “Why don’t you have kids?” question for almost a decade, and I hated it too. I don’t know why people think they have the right to ask something so personal.
I know a lot of my friends and family have said we would make great parents so I think they mean well when they ask. I am sometimes surprised that so many other people do ask though – for all they know we could be having major fertility issues and this could be a very sensitive topic. It’s definitely taught me to think about my questions before I ask them — I wouldn’t want to inadvertently bring up such strong issues by asking what appears to be a somewhat harmless question. Thanks for weighing in on this topic Dana – I do like hearing other people’s perspectives. Cheers – CT
I totally get the “why no kids” thing….I get the “why aren’t you married” almost every single day. I am sure once T and I decide to put off kids as well we will be in the same boat you two are in. It is frustrating to go against the social norms 🙂
The (semi) hilarious thing is that as a kid, I was very adamant that I NEVER wanted to get married, but I did plan on having two daughters and naming them Chrysanthemum and Marigold (and calling them Chrys and Mari for short, OF COURSE) and I’ve done a total 180 since the ripe old age of 12. I feel like the social norms are shifting beneath our generation’s feet. We’re so close on marriage equality and there are so many different ways to make a family these days. All you can do is what is best for you. Thanks for the comment! Cheers – CT
Courtney, I love your posts! I think when people wonder why you don’t have children is because you always babysat and seem to genuinely like children. I think sometimes people ask because selfishly they want you to have children. I agree with you that it is a very personal decision and in no way you should have kids if you are not 150% sure because, as wonderful as they are, they certainly change your life more than you can fathom! Now, that is coming from someone who is a new grandmother and I am loving every second of it! Keep the posts going! Barb
Nice post… We get the, “are you going to have kids?” occasionally but now that we’re 43, people are finally giving up on us. We’re perfectly content with our decision and we have our fur kids to complete our little family. Being a dog mom is enough for me!